Trapped.
Have you ever felt like you are trapped and cornered..that there is no alternative route that you can turn to..that perhaps you are your worst enemy ’cause you know deep down inside that there are actually many alternative routes that you can take but somehow, you think that you are unable to let go of some of the things that you treasure?
If your answer is yes, then i guess i need not go on any further.If your answer is no, then i must say …you are truly blessed..how i wish that my answer is no, then perhaps depression would be a foreign word to me. Tell me, how does one let go?
T.r.a.p.p.e.d.
If the word doesn’t comes with an “ED’ then it might be good. Trap could either mean a set up that could confine an individual in a certain circumstance or a physical item that confines you. However, when “ed” comes into the picture, you are GONE!
Does it help to scream on top of your lungs?
Does it help to find someone and have a shouting match with?
Does it help to gorge yourself with food? To go on a wild shopping spree?To cry? to confide to someone? To watch your favourite show?To go for a short holiday(Which i can’t)?To repaint and redecorate your room?To …To>>>>>>>>>>>?????????????
None of it works for me…. not even one..
Because you see……I am trapped.
With an “ed”.
T.r.a.p.p.e.d.
on October 5th, 2007 at 9:33 pm
Hi Bryan,
I had a sort of a similar experience which you are presently going through now..
After seeing you writing those words, it sounds like none of us can help you..
It also seems to me that you are facing a kinda tricky situation. I hope not.
Are you unhappy over something?
I understand that it may be inconvenient for you to reveal on your blog about what’s actually troubling you..but I just want to say that letting go ..is something not easy to do..but it is a choice..
If letting go makes you happy…gives you direction about what are the next steps you should take etc etc..then just do it. I know I know..it’s not easy giving up something..
I don’t know whether am I talking nonsense..ahahaha…I just want to say this..I may not be of much help but please set yourself free from whatever is holding you back.
I hope the issue which is troubling you now is not something serious..
Be cheerful as what you always are.. We love seeing you that way.
It certainly helps..if someone lends you a listening ear..I think you will feel much better..
TrappED…sounds like a serious word. Really leh. This problem has bothered you for quite some time, am I right?
Anyway, just remember, there is no problem that can’t be solved at all.
Take care! =)
Regards,
Your fan
on October 5th, 2007 at 9:59 pm
时间会冲淡一切…
CHEER UP!
on October 5th, 2007 at 10:15 pm
to alan,
first and foremost.. thank you…
True, there ain’t a problem that can’t be solved..however, there are problems that you KNOW that can’t be solved and you LL have to live with it..its simply pathetic that we have to compromise to such a state to carry on with our mundane lives!
I would love to be as cheerful as what everyone would love me to be..the problem is..how do you stop the bleeding beneath the happy exterior?
on October 5th, 2007 at 11:05 pm
Bryan,
you are welcome. =)
I get your meaning. Yes, I understand that personality portrayed on TV may not be the actual character shown in real life.
From the interviews which you’ve done..be it on television or magazines, I more or less anticipate that your character is a little bit different, perhaps due to your upbringing or family background..which I will not go into that.
Huh? Problems that can’t be solved? Not choice but to live with it for the rest of your life???
Can’t be la…
I know I can’t make you reveal your problems publicly..but have you tried pinpointing the bud of the problem that makes you unhappy and thus, getting rid of it?
I don’t want to see you in depression.
I want people around me to be positive and happy.
Alan
on October 5th, 2007 at 11:40 pm
the mind is a very dangerous organ…
and also, a very powerful one
good luck and hope you overcome it soon !
on October 6th, 2007 at 12:13 am
Talk to a trusted friend over a beer or wine and you should feel much better…. Life goes on after that……. cheer up!
on October 6th, 2007 at 12:23 am
Hey Bryan,
I might be in the situation you’re in before. But at that age, I chose to trapped myself even further and couldn’t seem to get out of the huge ‘hole’ that I’ve dug. Just like at ostrich trying to cover its head after doing something wrong.
Instead of going in further, quickly pull yourself out of it. Let go and let God do the rest.
Anyway, I saw you today at Jurong West (: It was great to see you once again, but I doubt you recognise me. Was with my sis this afternoon and you went into the bus so quickly but I managed to take a photo with Hanwei, which made my day. Although you lost the competition to Mark, I know you’ll do better the next time round!
加油咯！:D
God bless you (:
Love, Jiawen.
on October 6th, 2007 at 12:43 am
Hi Bryan,
Basically I feel that life is precious, and you really only live once. I know that problems are unavoidable, becos we are living in a broken down world, but the fact that this world is so broken, we should have just live our lives in a more fulfilling ways. If problems can’t be solve, leave it to God, if you ever believe. Because sometimes, it is beyond our control. You can choose to be happy or depressed, it is really a matter of choice, like what Alan said.
I would say, learn to release it to God, because the more you rehearse on it, you will get even more upset and depressed. Make a choice to release it, and you will find joy afterall.
I hope this will help you, don’t be trapped…get of the this trapped, like imagine you are walking in a tunnel, it seems that you are trapped, but as you keep on walking, you will see a light infront of you, that is when you see the breakthrough. Yeah?
Keep on going on…I support you.
on October 6th, 2007 at 1:14 am
Everybody has emotional feelings and some more can tell being a celeberity is not easy and can be very stress too. Everytime see you laughing and joking on TV thought you are really a cheerful and outgoing person.
I can say that you are really a good host and actor. I saw you once before when I was working at Cocoa Trees selling chocolates at Great World City but you were with Quan Yifeng and her family haaa. I felt so lucky and happy tooo haaa…
I hope to see you in entertaiment life in next 10 years or so if not I still wish you all the best in whatever you do. Hope can bump into you along the street one day haaa. CHEERS!!
on October 6th, 2007 at 1:19 am
Bryan,
If there is no solution to a problem, just let go, let nature takes it way.
Hope yr problem is not something concerning health.
In moment of weakness, u may want to tap the spirtual guidance from yr reglions(hope u hv one), to throw some light into darkness.
Whatever it is, pls find yr strength n faith to conquer yr problem.
Do confide to someone u trust rather than shouldering all the pressure by yourself.
All the best to u, Jia You!
on October 6th, 2007 at 1:50 am
Hi Bryan, there is a word that caught my eyes which worries me…. ‘depression’. I hope u are not like 1 of my friend and ended up have to go to consult a doctor for this ‘sickness’ recently. If can, talking to some good friends of yours. Pls dun drag this problem further like my friend. I dun want to see you in a bad state too. If can, think positive, go for exercise with someone, etc. I’m not doctor but one thing for sure is: You are not alone!
on October 6th, 2007 at 1:51 am
hey bryan..
i dunno u personally.. hee.. i dunno why i’m so brave to leave a comment here..
i dunno what’s bothering u.. but i wanna tell u tt it’s ok to feel sad, feel sian, n to be trapped.. humans are complicated beings n sometimes we trap ourselves.. it’s ok.. u dun have to pretend to be cheerful (but maybe on screen u might have to rara n laugh laugh la, bo bian, working mah hor?)..
jus be yourself when u’ve ya privacy.. let it bleed.. feel e pain..
today u feel trapped.. maybe a few days later.. ya lightbulb suddenly lights up n u will find your way out..
jia you! i love e shows that u host.. n i also like ya acting.. take care!
on October 6th, 2007 at 2:09 am
seriously, since if u know that it cant be solved, the only way is to optimise it. in life, many more problems we have to live with it so we cant let all these put us down, we gotta learn to me even stronger to face every single little thing.
it’s all in the mind, u tell urself to brood and get sad over it or u tell urself to live happily with it! the power of mind can never be underestimate, what you strongly believe will be the truth.
and if u tell urself to let go, believe in it that u WILL let go, and time will show it all.
on October 6th, 2007 at 2:17 am
it’s ok to be overly depressed and emo once in a while but u have to make you know how to handle that emotions so as not to drown yourself with it.
每个人都有一个伤心处是一但被触碰就疼痛无比
just let it hurt, let it pain u will feel better doing so, it’s so much better compare to keeping everything inside and pretend to be strong.
we gotta learn to be strong and not by pretending it.
eventually the pain will no longer be there and one fine day if someone will to touch that scar, all u feel is numbness and not extreme ache.
do whatever u want which is legal, and bring urself back to ur cheerful style.
just take ur time, take as long as you wish (if ur work permits)
=))
loves
on October 6th, 2007 at 3:22 am
My friend,
All of us is trapped in this world that we live in, only difference is the size of the cage, or the size in which we SEE the cage.
Internal struggles and agonies are the hardest to live with, especially if you are in an environment that you have to put on the same mask everyday. Come to think of it…When you drop a glass or plate to the ground it makes a loud crashing sound. When a window shatters, a table leg breaks, it makes a noise. But as for your soul, when that breaks, its completely silent. You would think its so important it would make the loudest noise in the whole world, or even have some sort of cermonious sound, like the gong of a cymbal or the ringing of a bell. But its silent and you almost wish there was a noise to distract you from the pain.
If there is a noise, its internal. It screams and no one can hear it but you. Its screams so loud your ears ring and your head aches. It thrashes around your chest like a great white shark caught in the sea. It roars like a mother bear whose cub has been taken. Thats what it looks like, a thrashing, panicking, trapped great big beast, roaring like a prisoner to its own emotions. But thats the thing about love-no one is untouchable. Its a wild as that, as raw as an open flesh wound exposed to salty sea water, but when it actually breaks, its silent. You’re just screaming on the inside….
This feeling is terrifying, it makes one feel like they are the only one left in the world…but you know what? At any one time in most people’s lives, they have had the same internal depressing thoughts..SO YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
chin up. the best news is….it can only get better..
on October 6th, 2007 at 4:45 am
dear doubtfire
you must be surprised to hear from me here! came to see the beautiful pics u took in Tasmania!
its sad to hear that you’re having sucha rough time cos you’re always the cheerful one. i guess you have to find some ‘me-time’ and think about the things you treasure and whether letting them go would allow you to find things that you will eventually treasure more?
… am i making sense to you?!
but before you find that, maybe you can distract yourself in hobbies? even if you’re unable to go for a short trip… erm you can try locking yourself in your own room and spending a day in it. sometimes being away from the rest of the world helps you relax and have a peace of mind… and find new perspectives in life so that you can ‘emerge’ fresh in order to have the resolution to solve the problem?
hope you’ll find a way outta the trapped you (which i believe you will, in time to come), and be cheerful again! =)
cheerios,
madonna
on October 6th, 2007 at 8:43 am
我想了一整晚，实在不知道还有什么话可以安慰你。
一直以来都是你负责扮演开解其他人的角色。再多的道理，相信你不是不明白，而是要做到实在是不容易的。既然，再难过的时期我们也走过来了，再难解的问题我们也解决过了，再生气的人也已经原谅过了，再不开心的事也能够看开了。。。为什么不能再一次相信，风雨后就会有彩虹呢？
或许你现在的确真的是被困住了，
也许目前真的没有其他更好的选择让你解困。。。
但是，
山穷水尽疑无路，柳暗花明又一村。。。
绝处，也可以逢生的。
“变”是这个宇宙唯一“不变”的定律。
别说是今天不知明日事，甚至下一分钟我们也无法预料会发生什么事。
可能一觉醒来，你的心情有比昨晚好一些些？
我们不都相信miracles do happen吗？
往好的方面想，下一刻所有捆住你的绳索就会自动松绑，所有的问题将能一一迎刃而解。。。
我们无法预料下一步会怎样。只有当下才最重要。
既然这样，就算现在是被困在一个幽暗的绝处，是不是可以尝试就不去想自己正在被困？
外界的因素只能锁住你的人，只有你自己可以解放你的心。
心可以想的事是无穷无尽的，没有一件事可以代表生命的全部。
苦中，也可以作乐。
是是是，有些问题不是说不去想它就等于它们不存在。
我想说的是，世事无绝对，所以：
世。事。难。预。料。
（哈哈，我已经猜到你回怎么接下一句了！）
言归正传，我想说的就是，
不开心的事就暂时不要去想它，
解决不了的事就先不去管它，
改变不了的事实就任由它（虽然世事无绝对，没有事情是改变不了的，除了“无常”的道理）。
时间会证明给你看：
Tomorrow will be a whole new world…
先让自己开心一点，好过一点，这样才对得起自己。
（所以你提的那些方法虽然不能直接解决问题，可是可以帮助你在被困的时候也过得容易一点。）
想哭就哭吧，想放纵一下就去吧，你爱怎样就怎样！
致爱的家人和朋友会明白的。
可是你一要相信：
再难过，始终会过。
耐心等等吧，雨后就会有彩虹了。。。:)
on October 6th, 2007 at 8:56 am
you just have to introspect and find the light within yourself. in time, you will eventually get out of the black hole. thinking too much about it will confuse you even more but sometimes it also leads to acceptance that you cant change these circumstances.
it’s all very paradoxal.
no one else can truly understand but yourself.
keep your head up and you’ll pull yourself out of it; just like how i did.
on October 6th, 2007 at 9:24 am
hi bryan,
i am at the point where u r at now. our problem is different. but i felt ‘trapped’ in a problem n it’s like i cannot get out of it too. i feel so down and things around me doesnt make me feel any better. i know how u feel when u said ‘how do you stop the bleeding beneath the happy exterior?’ when the happy exterior is a mask which had to be put on everyday.
i hope you get out of the trap soon and hope the same goes for me.
regards
(^_^)v
on October 6th, 2007 at 11:14 am
Hihi
I know how u feel cause i am feeling in a same way now!!
My boss wants me to pass something which I have built up over the months to another colleague. I dont want to let go cause it is something i like to do and the job also allows me to interact with ppl I like.. When i know of this, i feel very upset and yes trap cause i dun know what to do.. i will not be happy letting go, but if i dun let go, it will not reflect good on me
Can someone advise me
on October 6th, 2007 at 11:30 am
Can totally understand. Life is such, we have to always live with things that just… just things that you know you cannot let go of. Because we are humans with emotions. Sometimes no matter how people tell you to let go and smile, you know deep inside you’re still deeply attached, but you just don’t show it.
For me, that’s when it hurts the most… when no one else bothers or knows about the bleeding beneath. No one to turn to. No one to trust completely. You just continue bleeding… bleeding…
It helps to write it out I guess, then after time, when you look at what you’ve written, there’s always a new perspective.
I knw it’s hard, but there are still things in life that we are very fortunate to have.
on October 6th, 2007 at 11:39 am
jamie,
can’t say that my situation is the same as yours..quite on the contrary though..however..we live in a world where by we have to conform to certain rules and when work is concern, i am afraid there is almost no way out. If your boss says so, then unfortunately you will have to do as follow. However, it doesn’t hurt to perhaps let your boss know of your commitment to that project and also your dedication to it..it might just change his/her mind. After being said, if you still have to give it up… then you just have to let go of it graciously..your boss may have his/her own reasonings….
on October 6th, 2007 at 1:00 pm
You feel TRAPPED because you can’t rid the anger that is in you.
Nothing in life is more important than a good heart. It is also important to have a generous and compassionate mind.
When you feel down, think of many who are less fortunate than you. Humans often feel trapped when they want more, resulting to greed and turmoil; especially when they compare themselves with the more accomplished.
Take a step back, give happiness to others, and we will also certainly obtain happiness and relaxation for ourselves.
As long as you do not drop the fire, you cannot stop the burning.
Sincerely, Ryan’s mom
on October 6th, 2007 at 1:05 pm
feel trapped? hmm..hard to give u advice..i must be truly blessed den..never feel trapped in my whole life..just feel stressed..with E.D. anyway..cheer up..hate to noe tat u feel sad n so on..u will always be the no.1 host in my heart! smile alwayz~
on October 6th, 2007 at 2:09 pm
Hey Bryan. I know how TrappED is. Been going thru that as well. Probably on different issues, but yes, I know. We can’t walk away from it, we can’t pretend that it’s not there. Putting up a cheery front, is like wearing a mask to hide a scar. Once the mask comes down, the true feelings come out.
I’d like to just say that there has to be a way somewhere, somehow. Though it may not solve your problems entirely, but I’m sure the effort you have made to try and ease the situation would be good enough a consolation to your soul. Perhaps sometimes it’s really just easier to tell yourself to forget it. Don’t think about it anymore. Just a mental release. Though the situation may not go away, but at least you don’t suffer so bad mentally.
I hope this helps ease the pain. Do cheer up and look on the brighter side. After all, many other people out there have been trapped in a situation or 2 themselves. But we can’t just stop walking. Earth still spins, so… Smile, you won’t feel so much pain…
on October 6th, 2007 at 2:33 pm
hi bryan,
I can feel your emotions through your words, though you must be feeling much more than what we can understand. Indeed its easier to accept the things into your life, but so much harder when you have to let it go.
But sometimes things aren’t always smooth sailing in life, maybe by letting go, you’ll be able to welcome some thing new into your life, and maybe by letting go, you’ll be freed from being trapped.
Letting go would definitely be a painful process, but if you don’t wish to let go, you’ll have to keep it going, and stick to it.
No one can, and no one should be trapped forever.
It will alway be better if you confide in someone, and let him/her share your troubles with you. Similar to what you have done here, everyone is willing to lend you their ears, or rather time to listen to you.
Hope that you would be “freed” soon.
on October 6th, 2007 at 2:47 pm
Hi Bryan,
So how are u feeling now? Do u feel better after hearing so many comforts from us?
on October 6th, 2007 at 4:37 pm
這個世界其實給了我們一些錯覺，
以致我們常因搞不清楚狀況而耿耿于懷。
前后左右都聚了很多人，
于是我們以為，自己不應該辜負那些人；
走過身邊的人正竊竊私語，
于是我們以為，他正用眼神批判你；
醫學越來越發達，身、心理學家隨時送上服務，
于是我們以為，我們不該異于常人、不該生病；
他人的`要求`不斷增加再增加，
于是我們以為，壓力已來到頂線、腦筋快要爆開、身心靈都要奔潰了。
背痛、頭痛、心痛、五臟六腑都快頂不順！！
但，
真的是這樣嗎？
有那么容易就一蹶不振嗎？
安慰的話，
這么多年來我們之間來來去去也說了不少。
我不想再對你說白色謊言、或虛無縹緲的美麗言辭。
我只想說。。
這輩子我們既然來到人世，
那就要接受它的游戲規則。
生老病死、七情六欲，
難免。
抵抗不了，也永遠無法將之揮去。
當然你可以選擇當只鴕鳥，
假裝你一切很好；
或者你可以長期活在自怨自艾的空氣中，
把世界看成灰濛一片。
無論怎么應對，
始終也無法全然免疫的。
因為，
舊傷剛愈，新傷又會爬上你的身心。
既然這也不是、那也不是，
我想我們唯一能做的便是，
多多助人、潛心修佛，
期待下輩子別再來到這紛紛擾擾的世界。
而在那之前，
你要修的一門功課便是。。
放下。
面對心不甘、情不愿的局面，
不要再忍耐。。。
你該做的是，讓他去吧。
讓他，放過他，原諒他。。
別只是一味啞忍。
你是一個好人，
是個多情人，也是脆弱的人。
所以我們更愛護你、更寶貝你、更不愿見你默默承受痛苦。
但我不希望你誤解`痛苦`這件事。
自己發揮無窮想象力，把它加鹽加醋、越發像是法力無邊的惡魔。
`痛苦`這惡魔啊，
其實真的只是件小小玩意兒。
不然，
它怎能老是乘虛而入，鑽進你小小的腦袋裡？
on October 6th, 2007 at 5:03 pm
Hi Bryan,
how are you feeling today?
Many others have already given you words of encouragements.
I hope you are feeling VERY (x2) MUCH better now. If from time to time, you really need to cry out your frustrations ..then find a private space (your car or your bedroom) to cry it all OUT!!!
It is okay. Pyschologically, you would feel more relieved after that.
I was once depressed before..a slight one..but I got out of it. By myself. Because I realised at the end of the day, it is my choice I don’t want to be like this forever.
Your problem lies in your work? Hmmm…..anyway, I just want to say this
- when you see things on a positive note, somehow ..someday you would be able to see your problems much clearer and hence, manage to find solutions.
I don’t want to see you become a 2nd Leslie Cheung. =P *Touch wood!*
Life is not a easy journey. Joys and Pains. Disappointments. Laughter. Disillusion. Confusion. Highs and lows.
在这漫长人生道路上，我们大家是可以互相支持。。互相鼓励对方的！你绝对不是孤独的。。Keep your spirits upfloat oK?
Alan
on October 6th, 2007 at 6:38 pm
Dear Bryan
Honestly I was surprised to see this entry. It is very well expressed. I mean I totally understand how you feel. I was trappED for more than a yr (yes, believe it or not but it is true!) until recently when i finally let go SLOWLY. Of cos it is not an easy process but it seemed like the only rational thing to do. It is scary how i let it dragged for a yr. *dun let it happen to you k*
It is never easy to let go, esp of someone/something that meant a lot to you. Like yourself, my problem has no alternative. There is no way out but I simply refuses to accept. I dig deeper & deeper into my grave as the days past by. Drinking drown one’s sorrow but it doesnt solve the problem. Friends help but ultimately it is still yourself. Till the time you convince yourself to let go, only then are you giving yourself an opportunity to the world of chances ahead.
I sincerely hope you get out of your trap in time to come. Don’t push yourself too hard. When the time is ripe, you’ll be fine. Wound takes time to heal; so does your soul. Even if scars remain, it is a part of YOUR life.
SMILE ALWAYS =)
on October 6th, 2007 at 7:18 pm
Hi bryan.
At times, I feel TRAPPED too. I try to be strong and to think positive. Its hard. Especially when I am alone late at night, that’s my most vulnerable moment. For months, I have to put on a brave front every morning whenever I stepped out of my house. Then something happened that “wake” me up. Death of a long lost friend. She was in her thirties, had a good job and a happy family. She passed away suddenly. Cried myheart out that day when I learnt of it.
Life is so unpredictable. I asked myself, what if I die tomorow? Would it matter how much money I have? How imperfect my life is? Nothing matters anymore.
Now I try to live for today and not for “what ifs”. I try not to ponder too much. Many things are beyond our control. Since we can’t control it, why fret? Follow your heart.
In times like this, guess no one can help you but yourself. Just remember, you are not alone. \(^-^)/ Ganbatte!!
Regards,
Kim
“I want to be remembered as the gal who always smiles even when there is a storm in her heart. And the one that would try to brighten up your day even if mine is dark.”
on October 6th, 2007 at 8:46 pm
可能我还是个学生,还在放肆的过着逍遥的生活,我暂时还不了解你现在面对的无论是生活上,工作上还是关系上的痛苦,可是看到你的难过让我不禁反省现在,思考未来.
不管怎样,希望你会心情好起来,因为在你奔向未来的路上还有我们的关心支持,你要勇敢的走下去,笑着对困难说”小样!你打不倒我!!!”
cheer up!:)
on October 6th, 2007 at 8:53 pm
你是幸福的,在你难过的时候有怎么多的朋友在安慰你,支持你,鼓励你,人生有什么比这更幸福的呢?!想到这个还有什么不开心的呢?!
心情不好,那就敞开心扉大哭一场吧,我们会安静的把肩膀借给你让你尽情的宣泄.谁说男人哭吧不是罪…:)
on October 6th, 2007 at 9:58 pm
我英文不怎么好,可是看起来你好象很不开心,是吗?
不知道给怎么安慰别人,但是我一直是这样想的”再不开心,遇到再大的挫折也一定要去面对它,哪怕只是勉强自己去面对.因为这世界上还有许多让人喜爱,不舍得放弃的东西.”电影>你看过吗?丝嘉丽在结尾处有一句台词”明天,一切都会好起来的”,虽然这可能有点自欺欺人,但至少可以用来安慰今天的自己,哥哥你说是吗?痛苦的时候就睡一觉吧,醒来会有更清醒的头脑去思考怎么解决问题的.
on October 6th, 2007 at 9:59 pm
Hi Bryan,
Such trials make us stronger, and they are things we have to go thru. The greater you are (and become), the more challenging trials you will face (usu targeted at the areas you hate most).
After the event has passed, when we look back at it, we’ll be grateful it has happened to us (though fervently wish we wont have to live thru similar events again) because our spirit is stronger and our ability to endure is stronger. During the “trapped” period, it is extremely tormenting, but time will pass. Many years later, in retrospect, you may feel it’s a small matter after all, cos you’ve grown from the experience.
Here’s a quote from a book:
“The darkest hour of the night comes just before the dawn.” Perhaps this is the point where you’ll rise to yet another higher level.
Be grateful you have to go thru this. You are luckier than those who didn’t!
All the best!
on October 6th, 2007 at 10:39 pm
u cant change the past but u can change the future..
move on..~
on October 6th, 2007 at 11:14 pm
To bryan,
wow, reading your entry is really pulling at my heartstrings…actually i’m not really one for fanciful speeches and motivational words, but ur words are so true… too often, we are our own worst enemy…running around in circles trying to please others, yet we forget to please ourselves. they say that forgiving others is hard, but forgiving ourselves? it is even harder.
actually i’m not here to offer you good advice, or to tell you what to do, afterall what do i know? i’m just someone struggling through life just as you are…but i just wanted to leave you a ‘symbol’ of encouragement and support, though maybe you would prefer a box of chocolates more??
i sincerely hope that you will find the ‘key’ to ur happiness and to this imaginary cage that is trapping you so.
alright, maybe one small piece of advice: “when you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place.”
from a fan who appreciates you
on October 7th, 2007 at 1:02 am
bryan bryan,
see. so many pple coming forward to want to cheer u up.
i hope all these little concerns from us total strangers can help to clot that bleeding, bit by bit.
i have no idea what you’re going thru, nor what is the root cause of all that hurt, so i wont go into waxing philosophies and hoping those words will make u see the light.
ok fine, i’m just not that “you mo shui” to, la. haha. >
on October 7th, 2007 at 2:08 am
=)) hope u’re smiling today
loves
on October 7th, 2007 at 2:46 am
why must u think so much and scared to let go of the things u treasure? Muz the things that u treasure be shown physically? Although i had no idea or rather most of us had no idea what is troubling u, more or less some of them have been in ur shoes ba. Of cos, not in the exact situation.
Like for eg, someone dear to u had gone. There is nothing u can do except to accept its gone and treasure the memories. Thats another form of treasure. Wats matters is, no matter wat decision u gonna make, will u be happy? U r living for urself, wat matters is u r happy with wat u r doing.
Knowing there are many alternatives and procrastinating cos there are some memoies that cant be let go that easily? If u r happy remaining in that certain situation, den juz follow ur heart. U might not be happy and might even feel sth is lost or not wrong when u decided on one of the alternatives.
人生就这么一次
开心就好
Hmm.. above are general views. Haha.. but if im u, i will choose one of the other’s alternatives. y? U mentioned that deep down, there are other alternatives but u r unable to let go of the things u treasured, right? And u mentioned how to let go. The thing that u treasured muz be a hurtful thing tats y u wana to let go ba.
Sorry, i tend to go off track..haha. Ookiz, y not tell urself, god might create chances for you to create new memories (god bless u that it wun be another hurtful journey). How long are u intend to live in memories? Hmm ..how to let go. Believe me, u wun be able to let go if u r telling urself u wanna let go.Sth is there to remind u sth is there.
New environment, more interactions and more more time will fade memories, but it wun erase them. Wounds would heal but scar will remained.
Geez… i hope im not thinking too much. Haha.
And trust me (god.. does i sound self-centered?), be glad that there are friends out there who are even willing to be there for ya. So wat r u waiting for? Chill out and pour ur woes to the trusted ones!
If like wat u say, none of wat u mentioned works, close ur room and stoned. Listen music and stoned. Take a long hot bath and stone. Let ur mind rest and let ur soul rest. Sometimes, its beta to be left alone and sort ur thoughts and feelings, oh, esp in the shower. At least it works for me. But dun be like me, i tend to straighten out my thoughts and after the shower, i forgot what is that thing that had made me feel beta and i frown again. Geeez!
Giving 2 cents worth.
Cheerz!
on October 7th, 2007 at 11:14 am
Hi Bryan,
Reali hapi to see u had enjoyed ur Tasmania trip earlier on but onli a week aft, wat happenned, u sounds so pessimistic again… is something bothering u… u sounds like u have to make a major decision between 2 choices tat makes u so fustrating & feel trapped..
Think u know I’m someone which is not veri good in expressing myself, but maybe i can share something wif you… Follow ur heart, let him tells u wat u shd do… Maybe 1 day when u are awake, he will tell u this, ” Bryan, tis is the decision u shd make…” …
Hope the next entry we hear from u is that u hav free urself from being T.R.A.P.P.E.D., or at least trying to escape from being trapped. Sure all ppl in tis entry would luv to hear tat too !!!!
luv & bless…
on October 7th, 2007 at 12:43 pm
Just want to shout out loud and tell everyone that i like you!ganbatte! jia you ,jiayou and jiayou~
on October 7th, 2007 at 12:53 pm
Hi Bryan, like some of them, I can TOTALLY understand the agony, helplessness etc that you are undergoing now. because I AM IN IT, D E P R E S S I O N !!! with NO help from friends (i couldn’t bear to tell my parents who are old) I AM REALLY VERY VERY VERY VERY DEPRESSED!!! I know is because I couldn’t let go but is really said than done, who doesn’t want to let go and live happily, right!?!?
I can’t express so well as you but what you said really reflect my inner heart. I am cornered, i have alternatives inner but like you said ” there is no alternative route that I can turn to..that perhaps you are your worst enemy ’cause you know deep down inside that there are actually many alternative routes that you can take but somehow, you think that you are unable to let go of some of the things that you treasure?” => though simple in words, but those who are not undergoing won’t be able to totally understand what these few sentences really meant! but I really really do!!! How I wish I don’t!!
I have 2 really “best friends” but because of the “cruelity” of life, initially they still listen to me and they (n myself) suspect that i am in depression! however, they “left” me alone now!!!! because as i said “cruelity of life” (the ppl around them make them a changed person, they are able to “change” from a gentle, empathetic person, helpful, innocent person to one who totally changed!) especially one of them, now totally changed, revengeful, got no patience, don’t treasure friendship (she can sleep well and show no concern, not just to me, when friends are having prob…she told me honestly and i told her frankly that she reallly change and she admit using very resently tone) my heart really really sunk to the bottom!!!! and that make my depression worst!!!
There are many things that I can’t let go even though I know I have to…I am going bersek!!!! I am one who is very softhearted and trust/believe ppl very easily.but i have experiencing many many cases of being betray, hurt by ppl i trusted and believe and yet stupid as i am, i still hold on to the innocent thought of MAYBE she/he is not like,etc….
I just don’t know how to “guard” or not to give my heart (though not 100%) to friends,etc (except stranger or those who are obviously ordinary friend, or not even friend)…
I have been experiencing this that make me into depression…
On top of my best friend cases, I am in a situation where I can’t make my own decision , i want to led my way of life but couldn’t …. sorry i can’t reveal…..that makes it worst.!!!!
I know one has to help oneself and nobody can but CONTRADICT as it is…when i used to keep most of the things inside me, friends,etc, keep “encourage” me to talk out, confide..now that I confide….they “RUN AWAY”…double hurt to me!!!!
now i become very suspicious and very sensitive…not that i want to be but is the experiences and “solid fact” that happen again and again and again that make me become like that gradually!!!!! I don’t know how!!! is easy to say ignore and be myself but really really tough when it happens to ownself!!!!
Friends used to say you can call me, come to me anytime when u are having prob, etc. now it really happen and i naively really go to them ( i know they have their prob but they know that i am going thru depression and really really need help but yet…..i know i shouldn’t blame them because they have no obligation but ….), yet….
frankly speaking, i lost trust (99%) in ppl but yet still hoping and refuse to “guard” and give my heart to ppl…and at the time, feeling hurt, suspicious, self guilt (though not my fault)…I feel i am not just depressed but stupid (because know yet can’t let go and can’t do it!!)
There are many things that i can’t reveal (that’s why i can understand what you are undergoing) to anyone but “that thing” will keep on making my depression even further. I keep telling myself i don’t want to rely on medicine but I really don’t know how….I just couldn’t have the courage to dial the help line….don’t ask me why….
I sometime hate myself and wonder why i become like that!!!……
Worst of all is now i want to cry but tears roll inside instead!!!!!…..
on October 7th, 2007 at 1:07 pm
worst of all is now i want to cry but tears roll inside instead!!!!!….
I have lost interest in things that i used to do and worst is lost hope/confidence in my religion!!!!
sometime when i am “ok”, but if i found out that some1 lie to me, this will make me go “bersek inside”…i am one who won’t have the heart to keep probing or reveal the lie but because that keep happen and i keep keep keep inside me until now….
many things contribute to my depression but the crucial one ….. really want to reveal but couldn’t have the heart to…..because it will….:((( and it really really hurt when you trusted someone and that someone don’t trust you actually….
actually is similar to BGR, when in love, even when all around you tell you that the gal/guy is bad…SHOULD leave, let go….but easy to say….there bounds to be something that he/she could bear to let go though know well that is better to let go….we are human with emotions/feelings….
writing out don’t really help because just a “thing” and that will “trigger” the depression again!!!!
(((…….i hate the feeling of misunderstood and not being trusted (i know that is because those ppl that i trusted have more “social experiences” and so they don’t trust ppl…but i just couldn’t and don’t know to not trust because by not trusting, you won’t treat that person sincerely….what i mean is, how do one treat ppl sincerely when there is a “not believe,suspicious” element in it??….
I used to be one who will go all the way to help and follow up when friends have problems but yet now…..:(( how they treat me (actually not just me as i have mentioned)… i am “forcing” myself to be someone i don’t want myself to be (the most i changed myself is not to do follow up and feel too sad when others have prob…but inner me is not like that…i feel really contradict and “messy”…
i really couldn’t think properly now…just typing as my things come to my mind….
on October 7th, 2007 at 1:50 pm
I’ve the same feeling too. Exercising, spending money, praying…none work. I’m like in a deep blue sea, too far to swim back to the starting point but the next destination is no where in sight.
on October 7th, 2007 at 2:57 pm
Life is never simple, will never be… definitely some tough times in life, but u’ll get thru it!
既然是这样…不要让自己越陷越深吧…试着往好的方向想吧。
it’s a brand new day… 要开心度过！
look not back into the past, but forward to the present, and the future.
希望你有开心点… stay happy, smile… 加油！
on October 7th, 2007 at 3:01 pm
If you’re being trapped, the only one who can free you, would have to be you yourself. Only you know what’s keeping you trapped, only you know what’s holding you back. To free yourself, is not to let go. But to accept what has happened, and to always remember it.
Keep this in your mind, to free yourself, is not to forget everything. But rather, you have to look at it in another perspective and accept whatever that has happened.
Take care(:
on October 7th, 2007 at 3:07 pm
Hi Bryan,
I totally understand how you feel… the feeling of being trapped!
I think everyone will experience this “TRAPPED” feeling in many parts of their life… I have too, and many times we feel that there is no way we can ever get out of it but somehow, in a funny and miraculous way, you’ll still find a way out…
Putting a happy front and being trapped inside is something very common… So you are not alone… cheer up dude! I’m sure one day, you’ll find a way out of this “TRAP” you are in!
Like what Kim said, life is unpredictable… life for today and live life to the fullest
) You’ll never know what is going to happen in a minute, in the next hour, tomorrow or the day after…
on October 7th, 2007 at 3:10 pm
Yo Man
Check this out….
I see a trapped situation and a person being trapped here. But its a choice in life that you have to made in order to survive this “trappedness” in your life. No one can guarantee a life without sorrows or in your own words “trapped” but if one will made that choice to overcome that feeling / problem that is persisting, look to a brighter tomorrow, live your life to the fullest and i think when one look back, there is no regret…
I personally try out different things in life and i hope that in future, when i grow old, i can say that to myself, i have tried that and done that…But one thing i do learn is that i will try to pick myself up when i fall and then start climbing it again. Dear friends of mine, my dogs, and everyone around me gives me the encouragement to look forward in life with enthusiam and richness that only you can decide to embrace it or lose it. Its really that simple!
I know overtime, time and tide will wash that wound, sorrow or trappedness away and believe me, it leaves the ugly mark in your life. But at the same time, you are one step wiser and will learn to handle such situation in life and pick yourself up in no time again.
This are my two sense thoughts, i hope you don’t mind. I happen to follow Dasmond’s blog link to yours and saw this blog entry. I will add your blog link to my cirlce of friends, its great to have a online artiste blog friend around…God bless.
Valkrieangel
on October 7th, 2007 at 4:50 pm
hello! cheerupppp!
on October 7th, 2007 at 6:51 pm
Bryan,
how are you today???
See??? Lots of people are offering you words of advice. 做人要开心一点！
All of us here of whom have replied, care about you. =)
Cheer up dude!
on October 7th, 2007 at 7:04 pm
Hi Bryan,
Everyone has problems and I know when we advise , is easier to say than done..we can advise pple but when it happens to us, is not that easy..letting go can be hard, but it takes time..sometime we may think that running away is gd as we rather forget it.but even if we run away, the problem is still there..it wont go away..Life is not always smooth sailing and I believe there is surely a way to solve ur problem..dun think too much.. just let nature takes its course if it is not a serious matter.maybe u can try to relax urself when u r not working..Go n do something that u like or tell someone whom u can talk to..U will feel much better, trust me..maybe it doesnt work at times but then is better to talk about it rather than bottle it up and explode one day, it won’t be gd..
Jia you Bryan! Many pple are there to support and encourage u, be it family, ur gd friends and ur fans etc..We may not know the problems that u r facing but everyone will support u and be there..
on October 7th, 2007 at 11:06 pm
hi bryan
I’m not good with goods and don’t know what to say. Just want to offer you a big hug. Hope everything will go away.
-HugZ-
on October 7th, 2007 at 11:21 pm
Hi Bryan, it’s me (Gin) again…
Knowing that there are times we do feel moody; at times we aren’t sure what to do or even times which we aren’t sure if our choice chosen is right.
I can understand the difference of you between the real life of yourself and the Bryan on TV screen. On the TV screen, I know is not the real you – always humorous, the cheerful and mischievous you.
Worry is the word to describe when you describe yourself – TRAPPED.
I do understand the TRAPPED feeling. I have been in several trapped situations which I could not find a way out. But life still has to carry on. If your life is trapped for a particular reason, try to solve it. I always believe THERE IS A WILL, THERE WILL DEFINITELY A WAY OUT.
Last but not least, all of us have friends and family. Believe that they will shower their love and concern to you no matter what is the situation is. If you have any problems, talk to them.
So sorry I’m not very good in words, not so good in consoling people. But I think all of us leaving down messages here are good listeners. Feel free to pen down your thoughts.
Oh, I have forgotten one thing… You have appeared on TV on Ch 8 at 10.30pm, 7 Oct. So you have set up an interior design shop? Mind I ask, what is the name of the shop?
Cheers,
Gin
on October 8th, 2007 at 2:11 am
I understand how you feel. I have often felt this way. Can’t do anything about it coz nth helps. No choice. Juz gotta let it be.
on October 9th, 2007 at 5:51 pm
T.R.A.P.P.E.D
I often got trapped…especially when someone close or someone I know passed away. I no longer could see the person again. This week, I was trapped twice.
The feeling is like I just can’t breathe well and often fell into the down mood, but outwardly I still have to smile and look strong. Many people always think I am a cheerful person and I have to, continue remains and look cheerful.
Sometimes, I feel trapped when I am at the highest pit, everything are so smoothly well, I don’t know what to do next!!!
Well, go to rest Bryan, take a good sleep, have a few glass of water, buy what you usually will not buy – FOR FRIENDS and loved ones. Maybe you will feel better.
It is a blessing to be a giver than a receiver.
Take care friend!
on October 10th, 2007 at 10:53 am
I’m trapped (in my own way) & I believe eveyone does somehow in their own beliefs/discretion/choices. Well, we are all human afterall, no matter how great/rich/content/bad/poor conditions one’s in, we need a world to fill our cravings (inferior to superior, crap to luxury, physical, emotional, psychological, mind and souls).
I can’t give you an antodote because am not a Saint. Am still searching for a cure myself but as time goes by, surely we will find our ways to crack it individually/sucessfully. Why we can’t walk out from that corner? Why we keep on circling and brooding? Why we let this “unwilling & unwanting” feelng haunted us. why we hesitated to let it go and move a step. That’s remained a mystery and a history… infinity
Well, there are lots of traps ahead of us, lots of codes to crack and lots of doors to open! We will find our way there… Surely, you will find your way there too!! I will called these LIFE ENRICHMENT!
on October 11th, 2007 at 3:54 pm
u r lucky u have so many ppl to cheer u up so stop feel so down..ya!
this is ur life, to make it a better one or a disaster is depending on urself. its a test to u so get over it soon. If u can solve the prob, gd. If u cant, leave it to fate, afterall happy or not happy, trapped or not trapped, lifes goes on… just remember u still have friends & family.
on October 13th, 2007 at 12:29 pm
Hi Bryan,
Feeling trapped is like being in a deep dark pit, where the opening is nowhere in sight. One will feel helpless and hopeless and it’s a terrible feeling. I know becos i have been there and have since overcome this mental illness a few years ago.
Helplessness is usually resulted from A Lack Of Control in our life situations. We feel that we can’t control whatever that is happening to us. Overtime, we Learn to be Helpless.
However, the good news is, its all about our Mindset. No matter how bad a situation can be, our mind can overcome. For the start, we have to BELIEVE, most importantly on ourselves.
Here are a few points to take note:
1) Happiness is a state of mind. Its not about who we are, what we are doing, how we are doing or where we are. Happiness is about how we Think. – forgot who wrote this liao.
2) Search for your meaning of your life. Afterall, a man who has a why to live can bear with any how. – Victor Frankl (mind you, this man can still remain positive even when he’s in the concentration camp. You can read more abt it from his inspiring book “Man’s search for meaning”)
3) Increase your control in life situations by working on yourself first.
4) Be an individual. Forget about giving, helping or doing things for others at the moment. Fulfill all your needs first. Make yourself satisfied and fulfilled first. Only upon this, then you can do much better in giving others.
5) If you can’t get what you want, then want what you get. – forgot from who liao
Though my list is not all, these are what i can remember at the moment that helped me pull though the other time. For now, life can’t be better!
on October 13th, 2007 at 12:55 pm
Sorry bryan for hijacking your comments column…
Hi depressed,
i’m quite concern about you. You know, you type out exactly what i felt the other time. Other than what you typed, i am highly suicidal the other time. For my last suicide attempt, i was admitted to the hospital. Then i was thinking, i had enough of everything, its either i die once and for all, or Live Like Never Before. I chose the Latter.
So now here i am, working in my dream job, studying my dream course, married to my dream man, living a dream life (Happiness is my neutral state) and pursuing my bigger dreams. Now, i have yet met any situations that can beat me. I have emerged stronger, tougher and happier after my depression. So depression could be a good cause, in time to come, if you change ur Beliefs NOW!!
You can pick up points from my previous comment, about how you can change ur mindset. Do let me know if you have any questions.
on October 14th, 2007 at 10:57 pm
Hi pigcahontas, THANKS A MILLION!!! I really feel very very touched (i am too sentimental?)!!
currently i am even trapped further and don’t know how. As i was reading the 4th point, it gives me a instant thought that is always because i think of others’ feeling, etc, that makes me very very sad/depressed. eg, i will think if i say this or tell ppl the truth, that person will….even if is not my fault! i have too many such instances because i don’t have the heart to do so…
Currently no friend of mine really concern about me esp my 2 best friends!!!
i wan to feel happy and try to think positive…that makes me worst because there are 2 “thoughts” struggling within…1 will tell me don’t think that way but the other will tell me the truth already show me is not me being sensitive/negative and if i “listen” to the 1st thought, i am really stupid….you understand how i am feeling when there are many many repeated cases of such….
i told myself i don’t wan to rely on medicince and i wan to get out (though i don’t know if i m depression, but should be)….there are many times when i want to call the hotline but really didn’t have to courage….
i think beside depression, i have anxiety, fear too!!!
I really don’t know how …. while being in this stage, i still keep on feel guilty for other’s fault which i know i shouldn’t but aii….furthermore, i got “scolded”,keep being accused that i am at fault, i am too rely on ppl, too negative(even the one who know i may in depression and i actually email 1 of them…)…
can i know in more detail how you overcome? think you are the only one who can help, maybe not just me, but bryan and many others who just keep quiet….. you know those so called “encouraging/standardised” words don’t really help….i really try very hard to change my mindset but like i say , the truth shows again and again that i am right about things (is not my negative or sensitive)…
on October 15th, 2007 at 8:48 am
Hi Bryan & Depressed
I’m concern about both of you. I’ve been admitted to hospital twice because of depression last year and the beginning of this year. It is true that man do fail us but I found hope in my regilion. I’ve been mentally abused and suffered in silent without seeking help(not allowed to do so) though I knew that I was depressed untill something terrible happened to me last year then I was allowed to seek help.
I fully understand that depression can hinder our judgement and always cause confusion. A wrong move can even cause the situation becomes worse and brought more hurt to us. Ruthless people will take advantage or ignore of your condition and that will cause more harm to you, you’ve to be careful despite of your condition because knowing that there is someone (Hope) who support both of you and belives that you all can overcome it one day.
To Depressed: Medication is important(it takes time to effect) though you may find no help but it’s a must, please do not give up! During my darkest days, I almost called SOS daily to cry my heart out. Those people accompanied me walk through valley of death and I really appreicate what they’ve done for me. They even go extra mile, called me up to check how I was going! Pick up your courage to call and you’ll soon to find yourself on the right track of life. They’re good lisenters and comforters to your problems.
As I’ve mentioned before man do fail us even our dearest because they do have their own weaknesses. They just don’t know how to manage or handle.
I’ve met with countless people who counsel me with those so called “encouraging/standardised” words which don’t help at all eventually nearly caused lost of my life. I know the pain and struggle to try hard to change the mindset, it is a process and it takes time. Please take good care of yourself and be patient with yourself, it’ll come to past one day. Though I’m certified to be discharge from depression but the incident still hunt me now and then. It’s take me pains to decide to move forward not overnight but a long process, a lot of struggle and tears. I strongly belive that after what I’ve been through it made me a stronger person to face storm in my life with the help of my regilion.
on October 15th, 2007 at 9:47 pm
Hope, i really THANK YOU A MILLION TOO!!! (from my bottom of heart)…i was very very touched by bryan and pigcahontas and now YOU!!! You really make me cry out (i have been very very sad but tears now flow inside)….FINALLY SOMEONE REALLY UNDERSTAND AND KNOW EXACTLY HOW I FEEL AND WHAT I MEANT such as “encouraging/standardised” words which don’t help at all !!!! Thoughts of my “best friendS” and ppl i trust, know but yet IGNORE/REJECT me seeking help from them (i only want to talk) now make me cry as i am typing now….the feeling is really ….
I am not sure in what way you are not allowed to seek help but i have no courage because there are many things which i just can’t tell ppl…even to those who i call them to talk (the most crucial part still remain within me)…but i am REALLY VERY VERY TOUCHED THAT YOU UNDERSTAND ME FULLY!!!
I don’t know if my “condition” worsen because now i just couldn’t cry out when i am really very depressed/sad/confused/hurt…..at least previously there are many many times when i just couldn’t help but feel very veyr sad,etc, and tears will just flow continuously…
I have religion but lost faith…i now also lost trust in ppl (but i am softhearted and will soften … but will get hurt again and again … like what i said in previous comments…i mean my experiences with ppl i trust,etc)…
i really scared i will go mad!!! too many struggles, conflicting thoughts,etc….
on October 16th, 2007 at 7:54 pm
Crying is a form of healing so let the healing flows. In my darkest moment, I was immediately been cut off from my group of friends. They were my friends of many years and I do not expect them to dump me when I needed them most! It took months to get over it and I now I fully understand man’s weaknesses. It could be being selfish, safe guard oneself, do not wish to walk out of comfort zone to become someone’s comforter/lisenter/suppoter etc. They simply lack of strength to be one but you can be one to others because you’ve experienced it ! So you’re SPECIAL!
I was not allow to seek help because my closest ones insisted that I’m Ok, the ones whose is the root cause of all my suffering is afraid to face the truth that I’m indeed depressed.
Take your time and slowly release what is in your mind to the right person in the right time, do not rush into it. Speaking to right person is very important, it’s really help!
God will make a way when there seems to be no way. He work it out we cannot see, he’ll make a way for you. Yes! he has made a way for you, you’re blessed by Byran’s blog. I once lost trust in people but now I just be extra careful because I still believe there are seasons in our life – different seasons with different friends.
FEAR- False Evidence Appearing Real
Do not be afraid! Even with little faith, it’ll still uphold you in time of trouble.
To Bryan: You’ve indeed been a blessing to others through your blog, when you bless others in return you’re blessed!
on October 16th, 2007 at 10:11 pm
Hi Hope, you really really understand totally what I am feeling and undergoing!!! What you have said are what I think/feel,etc!!!!
Ya, i didn’t expect my friend to “dump” me (yet previously they are the one who always say i can tell them my “sorrow”,etc…they are there to listen but…..and worst is they even “blame” me for being crying so often and tell me cannot always rely on ppl …1 really fall asleep when i “confide” but woke up when i start to talk about other things!!!)…!!! All that added to my depression and make me even more depressed and hurt/”bleed”!!! and slowly i lost trust and hope in them and that really really hurt !!! now i don’t tell them anything and they dont even ask me how am i now!!) same as you, they are my “best friends” and of many many years….now i don’t blame them but really lost trust and hope in them/ppl!!!!
i know speaking to the right person at the right time is very important but sometimes the “depression” is really “horrible to bear”
I have this “force” in me telling me that i can help others in future but yet i am afraid that i will be “hurt” because i always don’t know how not to give me heart when i see ppl “suffer”…i am the very softhearted type….
just like i said i lost trust and hope in ppl but yet i really feel very very touched and believe/trust you and pigcahontas and bryan…that’s me…i don’t know why i am like that….should i change to be like those “best friends”??? i really don’t know how to treat ppl…can u advise me…because previously (and maybe now and future???) , i am the type who will go the extra mile when friends are “sad”,etc…i will do “follow up” and even when i am sad (not depressed), i will put their sadness above mine (really, is not that i am great but is because of my character)….and that come “automatically”, but now i really have no idea how EXACTLY how should i treat ppl/friends….please “teach” me…..
But i am really “a little bit better” each time reading your comment or rather your sharing of your experince!!! because you totall understand me!!! THANKS !!!!THANKS!!!THANKS!!!!
on October 16th, 2007 at 10:15 pm
And also now i am “force” to do something which i am not capable of (due to depression and fear, anxiety,etc)…the more pressure being exerted on me to do that, the worst i feel!!! i don’t know will that cause my depression to be worsen but i only know even the party already know, but the latter just don;t understand me and keep “forcing” me…i dread the outcome!!! how???
and i always feel guilty for others’ fault!!! do you feel that way too? self guilty and keep blaming myself!!! is really horrible feeling!!!
on October 17th, 2007 at 12:26 am
Hi
I know how horrible it is! How unbearable it is! It’s like a force, it’s like an explosion, it’s like going to burst if I don’t let it out. Before I seek help from SOS, I used to give in to it just to get rid of that horrible, unbearable PRESSURE!!! But now I know there’s a way, a safe way to deal with it. The safe way is to call up SOS, they’ll keep things under confidential and you don’t have to reveal your true identity. How I hope I’ve called them then I’ll not met with that incident. The incident was a trauma.
You don’t have to wait to help people in future, infact you’re helping me now. Thank you for allowing me to share my experience with you, it helps me to bind up my wound. You’re God sent angel to me.
Do not based on past experiences (friendship) that disappointed you, give yourself and others (especially Hope) a chance. Every day is a new day, you’re being renew each day though you may not feel it right now but it’s really take place without your knowing. You’re getting better each time we communicate and I’m glad about it.
I belived that after all the suffering, you’ll still be that softhearted person that the Creator has created you. Treat people with an open heart but with close observation.
Self guilty and keep blaming myself, both I went through. Both almost drive me crazy, both almost drive me to death. Kept asking myself ” Why am I so stupid! Why I allow this to happen! all the why?why?why? But knowing that I can’t change anything that had already happened, I could only kept reminding myself what is past, is past. I want to move on, I want to live to fullness though I know I’ve to fight a difficult battle! I would like to help you to fight this battle.
With faith, hope and love
on October 17th, 2007 at 2:10 pm
THANKS Hope!!!!! I really don’t how to express my gratefulness to you and also bryan!!!
You really expressed well my feeling!!! I also keep telling myself I want to move on,etc,(which you had mentioned!!!!) BUT is always the BUTS AND WHY which really tough !!! I really want to but really just can’t do it!!!! (ppl will accused me for NOT WANTING to and i really don’t know how to explain any further to them!!!)
Hope I really really treat you as (like you said) a ANGEL OR SAVER to me!!! Now you are the only one who are willing and able to help me (i really don’t have courage to call That’s me => always worry about the hurt and embarrassement that will caused to other before mine…:Like you said, i will still be the softhearted (but i also think i m really really stupid, as what ppl will think , because i still like after all the hurts/experiences.) because “clever” person will change by now to “protect” /”avoid” hurts. but i really don’t want to be like that. This world/society already become more and more “heartless”,”unfriendly”,”hypocrites”,”UNREAL” …
I know my trusted friend has been and still lieing to me but i just can’t let go…so i am feeling very very depressed too…i want to treat that friend just like before (really wholehearted) but the thoughts of being lied again and again make me “struggle”because not that that person is 100% “bad”…to stranger, i can let go but not ppl who i trusted and give me true feeling….
if you are me, how would u do or treat that friend? I don’t know how not to treat ppl with sincerity becasue that would mean “guarding”/”suspicious” about that person, right? I hate that kind of not trusting!!! (both direction)
I was thinking on bed about if I would “cause” you to go into depression again by telling and asking you all that and really really relieve that I am not!!!
also, Bryan, how are you now? Sorry about using your blog to communicate and is really very very grateful to you!!! THANKS!!!!!
on October 17th, 2007 at 8:26 pm
hi depressed,
Sorry that i have been busy, so didn’t have time to check for reply here. Though bryan has been really kind to let us have our exchanges here, i felt that its better to carry on our discussion on a more appropriate platform. I share a lot in the forum below and there are a lot of wise ppl sharing there too. You could post your issues there.
http://www.singaporebrides.com/forumboard/messages/5/5.html
on October 18th, 2007 at 12:21 am
Visited the forum mentioned by pigcahontas.
on October 31st, 2007 at 2:31 pm
Everybody is trapped in 1 way or another.
Like it or not, this is life.
Some r able to n break free, some unfortunately r not.
Job, career, family committment etc can all b traps.
We can’t really comment on these issues. It is up 2 the individual.
不要因为别人的失望而造就自己的绝望。
on November 9th, 2007 at 5:13 pm
忧郁，让我失去一切
on November 16th, 2007 at 6:24 pm
Hi Bryan,
I only came to know about your blog now so the reply rather late. I think i get what you mean of ‘trapped’. Human can only live once, whatever the decision do affect one life. When we let go something, we will be replace with something. Its all depend on you what kind of life you want to live in. You might need to ponder and see whether let go of ‘something’ really can make you happy. Live for yourself somehow happier than you live for others. If you are a Buddhist, mabe you can consult trustworhty monk who can advise you further and how should you live your life
on November 28th, 2007 at 1:46 pm
I think its normal to feel stress sometimes. I am not surprised an artiste feels it too. But hello? They are human too most people says. You may say you do not have a choice. But life’s full of choices, its just how you choose ur future. Even is i think i chose one bad one and may slow down a bit due to my carelessness, i would just think it is something i had chosen for myself, and i would live with it and learn to raise my head again. There’s nothing wrong with this, and few people tend to blame you for that. But then, who cares? Its not like they can choose for themselves. The most important thing is, this kind of people don’t ever turn back to look at their mistakes. They just tend to repeat history again. You are a separate being, free to do whatever you wish. Trapped? I felt that way and I tend to shun away from people too. But then, think of it, what’s the use of avoiding something that will follow you around to the ends of earth? I rather face the music, bear the shame with all my might. Sometimes, people can also do well with a few consolation. There may be people who hate you. Yes, what about those who admire you and like what you did? Do you hide them away and look only at people who hates you? Sorry for the offense though.
I mean, some people do tend to trust you, like in Home Decor1-3, most of them also like trust you that you can do it, make their homes beautiful. That’s what trust is about. Well, I don’t know if thats too risky(my words) but if you find offensive, you can delete this comment anyway… You see, i am just thirteen…